if you are like me, you look around and sometimes think... 'this child is actually ours??!!.... and that means we are responsible for teaching him right from wrong?!' then i think how with almost everything in life, if you are going to take on a responsibility, you first are given the proper training. like with my job, when i learned to drive, when i was in school, etc. the one exception is parenthood. no one trains you on how to raise a child, the right way. so, i decided to write down some traits and characteristics that i would love for bennett to possess.
i found that it is pretty simple what i want for him... and as my boss always says "simple, but never easy" and that phrase is very applicable here. there are a few main things that stuck out in my mind when i was thinking about this.. i want him to be kind above all else. i want him to be respectful and caring. i want him to say yes mam and no mam, i want him to be responsible with his choices. i want him to be just the right amount of cautious and to know that bad things do happen, but to not be paranoid. i want him to love God. i want him to be a sweet husband one day like his daddy.... the list goes on and on...
the problem is i have no idea how to achieve teaching him all of these things!! i look at how i was raised and how jared was raised and it was very different and we both turned out to be ok i think ;) one thing that my dad always said and he said it at my rehearsal dinner and i will never forget it, was that they may not have always done everything exactly correct, but that they raised us based on love, and i have never heard anything more true. i remember my childhood vividly and never once did i feel like i wasn't loved more than anything in the world. of course there were times i was mad at my parents... and i think i remember packing a bag and trying to run away on my go cart a few times, but i knew that they loved me and my sister above all else. there would be days that my dad would catch a 5 AM flight to get to chicago or california so he could get all the way back home before we went to bed. seriously, he would fly to california and back in a day. when i would be in trouble at school, which happened a few times ;) my parents would always defend me. even if i was wrong, they would defend me. this is something that is probably controversial, but i agree with it... if bennett ever does something wrong, i will still defend him in front of others. yes, he will have to make it right and apologize.. and yes he will be taught a lesson, but i will defend him no matter what. i think that made me realize that i could do anything (within reason) and my parents would still love me and be there for me. it taught me that people make mistakes. it taught me to forgive, because i was always forgiven.
in this book i am reading (above), she talks about how discipline is different from punishment and how we should never embarrass our children because of something they did... she talks a lot about raising confident and capable little people and if i added 'kind-hearted' to that list, i would be happy with those traits for bennett. i thought i would recommend it to anyone out there in my same boat.. we all want these things for our children... and this book has taught me a couple things to use along the way. it is the first book i have read on parenting... i read all of the what to expect the first year, etc but this is the first book aside from learning basic skills of caring for them. i am sure there will be many more, but i think this was a good one for me to start with.
please pass on any other recommendations!!!
Belle and some goats
11 hours ago